mistressaudrey

Last night....

Sat, 01 Nov 2008 13:32:55 GMT

Was an EPIC success!!!!!

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 05:13:13 GMT

What a self-absorbed child

sometimes..

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 13:41:52 GMT

an epic battle is the only thing that can save a relationship

Jesus..... 2007?

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 15:02:27 GMT

You know, I check up on people constantly to see how they are and what they're up to, but I never actually update this thing anymore....

1. In grad school
2. Getting married June 20, 2009
2.1 Doing wedding things CONSTANTLY
3. Working at Petsmart to help pay for said wedding
3.1. Should be getting promoted to lead
4. Candy moved out, Natalie in
4.1. Am much more content in my living quarters
5. Joe lives upstairs which means that I pretty much live upstairs

Sadly, that's about it. Of course other little things have happened over the several months of my absence from LJ. Apparently, my last post was in regards to my grandmother when she went into the hospital. Well.... here's that story.

Over the preceding months, she had become very paranoid of everyone and forgetful. She even let someone talk her into making a mess of her insurance over the phone, not tell my uncle, and forgetting that she even did it, let alone who she talked to. Then one night she decided to get her mail, even though my uncle told her not to. The reason for this is because the steps leading immediately to the box at at an 85 degree angle and are concrete. The other way, the way she chose to go, is to walk down the sloped driveway and down the road in front of her house to the box. When she attempted to get back to the house, she felt faint and fell to the ground. She could not stand up because she could not feel her legs and so crawled up the concrete steps and collapsed in the front yard bleeding from all the scrapes on her arms and legs. One of her neighbors called 911 and my uncle. The paramedics said she was fine, that her blood sugar was a little low, thus causing the faintness. She should be fine, but they'd take her to the hospital over night. There was no mail in the box.

Shortly after this, my uncle was at the house, getting ready to leave when he heard a loud thud. He rushed to the bathroom to find her lying on the floor. Somehow, she had manage to avoid hitting either the tub, toilet or sink on the way down. A miracle since her bathroom only has turning room. This of course prompted another call to 911 and an immediate rush to the hospital. This is where they found that it was not her blood sugar but her potassium that had gone too low. Dangerously low as a matter of fact. This had caused the paranoia, some of the forgetfulness, and something new not seen until the hospital stay, dementia. I should let you know the cause. My grandmother drinks about 2 gallons of water a day along with something called "Go Lightly." It is basically a powdered laxative. These two things together flushed everything out of her body, good and bad, and caused her body to begin to break down.

When I wrote my last entry, my grandmother was in the hospital, not knowing who I was when I called, telling my father that he didn't love her because if he did, he would get her the hell out of here, saying my mother and my uncle's wife were plotting to kill her along with all the nurses, and ignoring my uncle entirely. My mom had said that she didn't think my grandmother would make it out of the hospital. She did, she made it out of that hospital and into a nursing home. She was there for about 3 months, slowly getting better. She was finally able to go home but a home health nurse had to be there everyday from 9-4. My grandmother hated this, and let us know.... Every day. She was still very mean to people, still forgetful (she almost blew up the microwave), and somewhat paranoid. This seemed to get better overtime and then worsen again. It came in waves. My uncle would always remind her that she had to make it 6 months on her own, if she started doing the same things again, she would have to go back to the nursing home, this reminder usually caused the good stretches. Earlier this week, he took her to the doctor because she hadn't been feeling well. Her potassium was dangerously low again and she has been in the hospital ever since, however she is getting better. So after all of this, she is doing the same thing to herself, even with someone there most of the day. I don't even know what to say about that.

So that is the very long update regarding my last post. And I will attempt to post to this thing regularly.

I just don't know

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 23:27:25 GMT

I just have such mixed emotions about this whole thing. I don't want her to just let go and give up, but I know that things are just going to get so much worse for her. She knows that something is wrong, she can feel it but she doesn't understand it. She's just going to spiral further and further until she won't know who any of us are anymore. I'm afraid of that day. I hate seeing my family hurting over this and I just feel so helpless. I hate feeling helpless. I was so happy when I could do anything for her, even if it was only helping her out of her chair and putting lotion on her arm. She would look at me with eyes that struggled against the glazed look that eventually took over. It isn't fair. It just isn't fair.

Wed, 09 May 2007 02:51:38 GMT

Its my birthday and I'm 21 AND I'M DRUNK!!! wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooT

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 23:44:17 GMT

Sometimes I want to curl up in the floor and cry. Is that normal?

God I miss him

So this was the best weekend EVER!

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 01:48:40 GMT

Joe got to come home for 4 days before leaving for Iraq. It was incredible. After the initial 15 minute embrace in the middle of a Richmond sidewalk, we picked up where we left off. It was wonderful. And then, just when I thought I couldn't get any happier, he proposed! I just keep waiting to wake up because this just has to be a dream.

Saying good-bye today was so hard. I didn't want to let him go. He said all the right things and made me feel better but I'm still fighting off the tears and he left almost 4 hours ago. I don't know if the next few days will be more difficult or not, but I think that I'll manage. Anything that I might feel over the next couple of days is worth having what did for the last 4. I love him so much and I cherish every minute that I have with him.

Joe

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 06:00:28 GMT

So, it is officially, 1 day, 38 hours and 2307 minutes until Joe comes home. No, I'm not so lame that I figured that out on my own... I used a counter... Still lame I guess. Honestly, I really don't care. I miss him so much and I am just so excited to see him that I can barely concentrate on anything. We've been apart for nearly 2 months. I managed, I really did. I think that I handled everything very well, much better than I had expected to. But now, knowing that I'll get to see him one more time, I find myself so completely overwhelmed at times that I cry uncontrollably. Usually the tears are out of joy but sometimes, usually when I'm having one of my sleepless nights, I get so scared that I can't help but cry. I'm scared of so many things, some that I can't even articulate. It's frightening to watch someone you love, someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with, leave you in order to face some dangerously life altering experience. I've never considered myself to be one of those people that have to have control over every facet of their lives, but I wish I had more control over this, over myself and my emotions. Until I can manage all of those things, I just want to enjoy the little time I have with him before he leaves again. After that, I'll just take every day as it comes.

I once read an incredible prayer in a fascinating book that has managed to get me through up until this point.
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."-Ames, What's not to Love.

I'm in a fabulous mood

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 18:18:36 GMT

yay for fabulous moods!

My classes are great. Sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed with the scads and scads of reading, but overall, they're all wonderful. Well, except ethics. I'm just trying to get through that one. People are so dumb lol.

I've been able to talk to Joe so much recently. last night I got a whole hour of Joe. It was fantastic. Today. I expect that I will get a lot of time too. So wonderful.

My back is feeling much better and is healing nicely. So, I am now able to move more freely, lay on my back, lean back in a chair and I can finally go back to the gym!

Speaking of the gym, I'm still losing weight. Thank God for that. lol.

I don't really know what else to say... I'm just in a fabulous mood and I had to share it with the world.... or rather, those who still actually read my lj entries lol. I just feel like things are starting to really be okay. With everything. Hooray for optimism!!!!!!!! ^_^ <3

I'm finally updating and...

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 05:23:33 GMT

it's late. It always seems like it's late. I know that I said I would update once I got back... but I really don't know what to say...

Classes have started back up again (this is a good place to start, right?) and I'm actually looking forward to the semester. Other than my ethics course (a requirement, unfortunately) all of my classes seem like they'll be really interesting. However, with 18 credits, my work load is a little heavy this time. The distraction will be welcomed.

I miss Joe. I miss him so much that sometimes I think that my heart is going to melt and slide to my stomach (lovely image, hmmm?). I've been doing really well though. I've managed to keep from breaking down daily and I've only shed a few tears over the phone. I'd prefer to not shed any at all, I want so badly to be strong for him. I never want him to worry that I can't handle it or that I'm loving him any less. The last thing I want is for me to be a distraction while he's doing his job. His dangerous job. His job. It helps that we get to talk often and I have many pictures. I'm sure he'll be willing to attest to the fact that I made him suffer through many a photo opp to make up for lost time. But they help. And they make lovely decoration. For the most part, my days are fine. It's the nights that kill me. I put off going to bed until I'm numb so I'll fall right to sleep. That way, I don't have to lie awake thinking of how much I miss him and how long it will be until I can see his face and hold his hand again. Mornings are hard too. I miss waking up to his smile, holding his hand as we lay in bed for hours, refusing to get up so we can hold each other for just a little longer. I miss that so much. Probably the most. But I'd wait a lifetime just to be able to do that again for just one more morning.

Joe, I love you. I know you know that. But I know how much I miss hearing it and seeing it and I'm sure you do too. So, every chance I get, I want to remind you how much you mean to me. I love you more than you'll ever know.

stole this from jessica

Sat, 13 Jan 2007 05:04:00 GMT

In 2006 I:
[] stayed single
[x] got kissed
[] kissed someone new
[] kissed in the snow
[x] kissed in the rain
[] had my heart broken
[] broke someone else's heart
[] had a stalker
[x] lost a friend
[x] had a good relationship with someone (and still do)
[] questioned my sexual orientation
[] came out of my closet
[] got pregnant
[] had an abortion
[] got married
[] had a divorce
[] kissed someone of the same sex
[x] met someone that I will never forget.
[] did something I regret
[] lost faith in love for awhile
[] kissed under mistletoe
[] got a promotion
[] got a pay raise
[] changed jobs
[] lost my job
[] quit my job
[] dated a co-worker
[] dated my boss
[] dated my boss's son/ daughter
[] got fired from my job
[x] got straight A's
[] failed a class
[x] cut class
[x] skipped school
[x] did something I was proud of
[] fell in love with a teacher
[x] was involved in something that I will never forget
[] painted a picture
[x] wrote a poem
[x] ran a mile
[] listened to music I couldn’t stand
[] double dipped
[] skinny dipped
[] went to a sleepover
[] went to camp
[] threw a surprise party
[x] laughed till I cried
[] flirted shamelessly
[] visited a foreign country
[x] visited a foreign state
[] cooked a disastrous meal
[] lost something important to me
[x] got a gift I love
[x] realized something new about myself
[] tried to gain weight
[] dyed my hair
[] came close to losing my life
[x] someone close to me died
[] went to a wild party
[] got arrested
[x] read a great book
[x] saw a great movie
[] saw a movie so scary that it made me cry
[] saw a favorite band live
[] did something that I want to tell someone but can't
[x] experienced something new
[x] made new friends
[x] found out who your real friends are
[x] lied to your parents
[] snuck out
[] got in trouble with police
[] kissed in a pool
[x] kissed under the stars
[] did an illegal drug
[x] went to a party
[x] had the time of your life
[x] danced
[] fell out of love
[] had a crush on someone
[] changed your sexual preference
[] swam in a pool
[] made a snowman
[] went snowboarding
[] went sledding
[] slept in past 5pm
[x] held someone’s hand
[x] held someone’s hand that you care about
[x] told someone you like them as more than a friend (and i tell him that everyday)
[x] gone on vacation
[] gone on vacation with a friend
[x] driven a car
[] played strip poker
[] danced in the rain
[] seen someone get in a car accident
[] got in a fist fight
[x] laughed until you couldn't breathe
[x] had an amazing year
[x] missed someone
[] got hit by car
[] sent someone to the hospital
[x] went to the hospital (with Jessica)
[x] got a new pet
[x] enjoyed this year

In 2007 I plan to:
[] find someone special (I already have someone special)
[x] get kissed (he better come back to kiss me!)
[] kiss someone new
[] kiss in the snow-- I don't care where or when,
[] kiss in the rain-- as long as it's him
[x] have many good friendships
[] come out of my shell more
[x] meet someone that I will never forget.
[] regain my faith in love
[] kiss under mistletoe
[] get a promotion
[] get a pay raise
[x] change jobs
[x] get more straight A's
[x] do stuff that I’ll be proud of
[x] be involved in something that I will never forget
[] paint more pictures
[x] write more poems and get them published
[x] run a miles
[] stop listening to music I can't stand
[x] go to a sleepover
[] throw a surprise party
[x] laugh till I cry
[] continue flirting shamelessly
[] visit a foreign country
[] visit a foreign state
[] learn to cook
[] learn to do the laundry
[] find the important things I’ve lost
[x] give someone a gift they love
[x] realize more about myself and figure out what I am
[x]try to lose weight
[] throw a wild party
[] go to a wild party
[x] read a great book
[x] begin writing a great book
[x] finish the books/plays etc. that I’ve started writing
[x] see MANY a great movie
[] stay awake through @ least half the movies I pay to see
[] see another favorite performer live
[] keep as few of my own secrets as possible
[x] experience something new
[x] make new friends
[] find out who my real friends are
[] get kissed under the stars
[x] have the time of your life
[x] dance
[] learn the Superstar dance by heart
[] go swimming
[] learn to drive stick
[] learn to ride a bike
[] make a snowman
[] go clubbing
[] go sledding
[] continue sleeping in past 5pm
[] hold someone’s hand
[x] hold the hand of someone I care about
[x] go on vacation
[x] go on vacation w/ a friend/friends
[] drive my own car for longer than 2 days
[x] dance in the rain
[] learn to defend myself physically
[x] laugh until my sides ache
[x] have an AMAZING year
[x] miss someone (every day)
[] get a new pet
[] come clean about some stuff that's happened to me and has made me how I am
[] figure out WHAT there is to do in this area
[x] enjoy this year

I'm feeling a million things and I have been for the past two weeks... There are so many things that I can talk about but I'm not ready. For now, not talking is just so much easier. I'll update more when I get back to Richmond but for now: Jessica, I miss you and I hate that we don't see each other more. Sara: I can't wait to hang out with you again. Candy: You really are a great roomie and I thank you for that. And Joe... I love and miss you more than you can ever possibly know. You are my sun, my moon, my stars. Please, never forget that even when you're under the night sky a half a world away, I'll be on the other side telling you goodnight. I love you.

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Thu, 14 Dec 2006 05:05:38 GMT

So, once again the semester is coming to an end and as usual, I have mixed emotions. Believe me, I'm ready for the break. Lately, I've been so exhausted that it's difficult to function. But the end of the semester means a lot of things. It means leaving Sara and Candy and spending A LOT of time at home. It also means that Joe is leaving soon. I'm in far too good of a mood to think about it in too much depth because it will make me sad. I'm just trying to enjoy the time that we have left right now and not think too much about that horrible day looming ahead, just four days into the new year.

At any rate, I want to say Merry Christmas to all. I hope that everyone enjoys their holiday as I'm sure I will enjoy mine. I'm jsut so glad that I can look forward to a month of video games and absolutely no Spanish and I can read for fun again!!!!

I'm procrastinating

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 01:41:34 GMT

So, back in 2005, I posted the following:

The name of the game is to do a google search for "[your name] needs" and posts the 10 first entries.

1. jessica needs to keep her mouth shut sometimes
2. Jessica Needs Cash
3. Jessica needs a bit of time off by herself to process things
4. Jessica needs an adoptive family that is very structured
5. jessica needs to keep her effin hands off my boy
6. Jessica needs some coaching
7. Jessica needs to be left alone
8. Jessica needs you!
9. Jessica needs fake titties and then she would be perfect (hahahahahahhahahaha)
10. Jessica needs to rethink her position on doing adult films (my position? Oh my...)

I have decided to see how things have changed in a year.

1. Jessica needs fake titties and then she would be perfect (so apparently boobs have moved up in the world)
2. Jessica needs a bit of time off by herself to process things
3. Jessica needs thing (at first this doesn't make sense, but it actually refers to this game)
4. Jessica Needs Coffee
5. Jessica needs a rumor boyfriend
6. Jessica needs a new prescription
7. Jessica needs an adoptive family that is very structured (boobs are now more important than family)
8. Jessica needs my help
9. Jessica needs help! (do I note a theme?)
10. Jessica needs to be f***ed at least 5 times a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year (....ok maybe not that much... I might die)

Well at least this year I'm not a gossipy slut face.... thats a plus... right?

Making Christmas lalala!!

Sun, 03 Dec 2006 23:10:07 GMT

So Candy and I finally put up the Christmas tree!! I can't wait to go walking around the East end and the fan so I can see the Christmas lights. I love this time of year!

How has it been Two Months?

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 19:11:39 GMT

My lord, how has it been almost two months since I've written anything? I guess time slips away like that sometimes; at least it seems to be recently.

So, updates in my life...
My parents are still working on moving to Stuart. We try to take trips back to work on the house whenever we can. My bedroom, bathroom and one spare bedroom are completely finished now. My parent's bedroom and bathroom are too, save for the bedroom floor, but they're having second thoughts about the colors. All of the wall colors have been picked out, it’s just a matter of getting all of them painted, along with the ceilings and trim and doors. Other than that, my dad is replacing the kitchen and their bedroom floors at Christmas and seeing about getting new countertops installed. That's it. Then we'll be ready to move. I'm ok with it now. For a while, I couldn't imagine them selling the house that I grew up in, letting someone else live in the place where we have so many memories. I really do think that they'll be happier though, I know that I was being selfish. I really very excited to see them in their new house.

My aunt and uncle are struggling right now. A series of very unfortunate events have led to my uncle having a stroke at the age of 42. He only has limited use of his left side and he only knows his wife. He doesn't even know his own daughter. I'm not sure when we'll go back to see him.

Mom got a new job. She seems happy with it. She called at the end of her first day and was so excited because for the first time since she could remember, she left work without a headache.

School is going well. I'm preparing for my Praxis exam so I can take my GRE in the spring and apply for the Education Masters program for the fall. My classes are more difficult this semester but so far I'm maintaining my A average from last semester. I've decided to change my minor from Spanish to writing. I think it's a more sensible minor. Besides, then I can teach English and Creative Writing.

Joe and are doing well. We struggle sometimes now that his deployment date is less than 2 months away. We'll celebrate the New Year and then he'll be leaving for one year and three months. I know everyone is expecting me to break. But I will be fine, I know I will be. For now though, I'm an organized mess. I hold things together most of the time but sometimes the only thing that gets me through those nights alone is prayer. Things will be hard at first, but everything will work itself out. Things always work that way.

I suppose that’s all. Except that I'm reading a fabulous book by John Hawkes called "Travesty." It’s different. In some ways, it really reminds me of Albert Camus.

Its official...

Mon, 11 Sep 2006 19:15:55 GMT

I feel icky and gross and I just want to crawl into bed for the next 4 or 5 days.

I am NEVER online anymore...

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 17:08:40 GMT

I miss so many people...
Jessica, this has been the first summer that we've spent apart since the fifth grade and its been one of the hardest since that time too. I miss you so much.
Sara, you have been such a wonderful friend over the past year and even though we talk about once every week for at least an hour, I still miss you like crazy.
Joe, I can never see you enough. I'll be so glad when I get back to Richmond and see you every day again.
Amanda, you be next door, but between work and your horsey things, we still never see eachother.
Rikki, did you drop off the face of the earth?
Richmond, there's no other place like it in the world.

So I was baptized last sunday. It was an amazing experience. Norman (my pastor) said a few words about how wonderful it was to see me come into the church and become a part of things and getting to know me was such a joy. Then I spoke about how I came to my decision and then Leah (Ms. Young) spoke about knowing me through drama and becoming such a good friend and how she was so happy for me this but how she was going to miss me so much when she leaves. Needlesss to say, she made me cry. i'm going to miss her so much when she leaves. But hey, it gives me an excuse to travel to New York!

I've found that I'm just so happy now. Despite all the crap from work, the fact that I'd rather be in Richmond and the frightening idea that in three years, my world as I have known it for my entire life is going to change, things are just so wonderful. That may not make sense... my whole world changing I mean... So my parents are trying to buy a house, in Stuart, Va which, for those of you who don't know, is near Martinsville, VA which is about 5.5 hours from King George. While I never intended to stay in King George, its really hard for me to accept that someone else will be living in the only house I've ever been in and that in three years, there won't be anything binding me to this tiny town and while I once longed for that, now it seems very sad to me. Think about it, my parents won't be here, Amanada will be graduating from school and going off to grad school, Jessica won't be here, Joe and I will be in Richmond until moving to New York. Its kind of overwhelming to think that everything I've known for the past 20 years is ~~falling apart~~ breaking away. I know that its inevitable and all for the best, but its still so hard to accept sometimes.

"Give me strength to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference." -Jonathan Ames

On a lighter note, Brenda's wedding is in October and my maid of honor duties are going well. i'm currently planning her bridal shower to be followed by the most awesome party ever to celebrate her last weekend as a free woman. I've lost some of that pesky weight I put on and my bridesmaid dress fits better than when I bought 4 months ago. i'm changing my hair (hopefully today). At any rate, as an overview, things are really good right now. But I need a shower. I miss you all. Mwah.

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 03:53:48 GMT

So I haven't updated in a really long time, wow.
Here's a brief run down:
-Amanda and I made up and are fine once again
-Dorthia is moving out, but not going to Florida yet, just to the burg
-Piper is fine
-Joe and I had our 1 year aniversary on Friday, making ours my longest relationship by 3 days
-I'm working at Family Dollar.....again
-I miss Richmond, Sara and Jessica
-My parents bought a house in Basset, are going to closing the last week of June and will be moving around the time of my graduation.
-I'm being baptized
-Thomas is in the hospital.

Jessica called tonight to tell me the updates on Thomas' condition. (FYI, Thomas is Jessica's brother's (sean) best friend and I've known him almost as long as I've known Sean). I prayed for him last night, just hoping that he'd be able to make it to graduation. Tonight.... tonight I'm praying that he's just ok. He has to be ok. I'm so worried for Sean and John-Michael, I can't even begin to imagine what either is going through. Thomas has to be ok, he has to...

Jessica, I would like to take this time to tell you that I love you and I can't even begin to fathom what I would do without you. So always wear your seatbelt, thats a command, not a request.

Mon, 01 May 2006 19:51:42 GMT

So its May 1st which means that tomorrow is my last day of classes. Thank heavens. I'm so ready for this to be over!!!!!!

Well Joe and I didn't go to the wedding because of some difficulties, but we did go to Fairfax to have dinner with his dad, girlfriend, her daughter and Joe's grandmother. His grandmother is sooooooooo sweet! She's this adorable tiny woman. Overall, it was a nice trip. OMG his dad's house is huge! But as Jessica pointed out, so are almost all of the houses in Fairfax.

So Joe put in an application to adopt a kitten from the SPCA. She's 10 weeks old, solid black and very, very tiny. We're naming her Piper (even though Jessica thinks the reason why is dumb). I'm excited. We'll find out by hopefully Wed. if Joe was approved to have her.

Well that was a quick update. I guess there isn't too much going on. Anyway, I'm off to finish up my last spanish review sheet before I head off to my last class of the year with Paulo!

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 23:30:52 GMT

red: anger

1. are you currently mad at someone? Nope.
2. which of your friends has the worst temper? Ummm none of my friends have a bad tempter but when they're pushed far enough....
3. have you ever thrown something at someone? sure, lots of things, why just this morning i threw the cat at Joe.
4. does your face turn red when you're angry? I don't think so? i don't look in the mirror when I'm ranting
5. when you're mad, do you prefer to stare angrily or yell and scream? I like to yell, but not at the people I'm mad at, I like for other people to listen to me vent so I don't have to deal with the confrontation

orange: excitement

1. Has anyone ever thrown you a surprise party? For my 16th birthday my mom got a few people together for a small party. It was probably one of the best I've ever had.
2. are you easily excited? I'm easily amused, does that count?
3. what event is coming up that your most excited about? My birthday is in two weeks from today
4. which of your friends is most exciteable? Me. Do I count as my friend? If not... Sara

5. if you won a million dollars, what would be your first thought? OMG I can finally buy all the video games in the world
6. if you could have anything right now, what would it be? A new shiiny thing on my ring finger ; )

yellow: self-discovery

1. name? Jessica
2. where were you born? KG VA
3. what's your main goals in life? Graduate, find a job teaching high school english, get married, have kids, be a soccer mom for a while.
4. do you want to have children? Two or three, at least one boy (Josef Rudolf Schmidt Jr-per Joe's request) and one girl (Arianna Isabelle Schmidt)
5. how do you want to die? I don't really want to die, it'll probably hurt.

green: opinions

1. sex before marriage? Personally? I don't know, whatever floats your boat, just don't be stupid and do it to a herpes infested flea bag.
2. younger drinking age? I really don't care.
3. capital Punishment? Nope
4. abortion? i think that certain circumstances dictate a different response
5. recycling? I think everyone should. But I don't lol.

blue: dreams

1. what was your latest dream? I had this dream that I was being attacked by this moldy monster from the fridge. I woke up to see the cate hovering over my face. Scariest thing EVER.
2. which of your friends do you dream about the most? I think Jessica, Amanda and Joe.
3. have any of your dreams come true? I've had that whole daja voo kinda thing.
4. do you usually remember your dreams? I do right when I wake up but as the day goes on, they usually get fuzzy
5. what was the weirdest dream you've ever had? I used to have this reoccuring dream where I was an undercover FBI agent where Enrique Medina (you rememebr, from school. That Whitney girl's baby's daddy) was my partner and we were up against this really fat mob boss that wheezed when he tried to talk and waddled around everywhere with the help of a cane. Anyway there is this big shoot out and I end up getting shot in the stomach and i'm lying there dying and Enrique calls for a paramedic but ends up getting implaed with a potted plant. I don't know, my dreams are really weird.

purple: love

1. straight, gay, bi? straight
2. do you have a bf/gf? Yes <3
3. Do you have a crush? Well yeah, on Joe
4. do you believe in love at first sight? No.
5. Have you ever been in love? Ye, I am right now. At this very second.

COLORS

^What's the color of the clothes your wearing?peach, yellow, whtie and blue jeans
^What's the color of your bathing suit? red
^What's your favorite color? sage
^What's the color of your font on AIM? Black
^What's the color of your pillows? black
^Your floor? off white
^The car you drive in the most? off white
^The toolbar? blue
^Your patio? we don't have one
^Your beach towel? i don't have a towel designated for the beach
^Your nails? right now? burgandy
^The nearest object? silver
^The nearest stapler? purple
^A book you just finished reading? Blue.
^Your eyes? Blue
^Your hair? redish brown
^Your underwear? tiger print.
^Your desk lamp or bed lamp? black
^Your toilet seat? white..?
^The nearest rug? don't have one in here
^Your jewelry? gold
^The last umbrella you used? lepord print

SLEEP & DREAMING
x: are you a deep or light sleeper?: deep
x: do you have a fixed bedtime or do you go whenever your tired?: recently its between 10-11
x: what size is your bed?: Single
x: do you share it with anyone?: sometimes
x: how many pillows?: 2
x: do you have stuffed toys on your bed?: no, but Stephen the Moo Cow (the one Joe bought for me when we went to see RENT) is next to it.
x: do you ever wake up in the middle of the night?: All the time.
x: did you know that everyone has at least several dreams per night?: Yeah, at least i know i have a bunch
x: do you remember your dreams?: most of the time
x: describe your last most vivid dream?: I already described it
x: do you often have nightmares?: yea, lots
x: what was the last nightmare you had?: something very silent hill like

ELECTRONICS
x: do you own your own computer or is it a family computer?: mine
x: are you good with computers?: i can do with it what i need to
x: do you have your own mobile phone or phone line?: yes. both
x: what kind of TV do you own?: some obscure brand because it was big and cheap
x: DVD player?: i use my ps2 here but I have a dvd player that amanda gave me for christmas one year... don't remember what brand though.
x: VCR?: JVC
x: hair dryer?: conair i think
x: hair straighteners/curling tongs?: i think my straightener is revlon and my curling iron is conair

FOOD & DRINK
x: are you a vegetarian or a carnivore?: Carnivore.
x: what are your favourite foods?: Fries and chicken
x: where is your favourite restaurant?: Olive garden
x: fast food restaurant?: Wendy's
x: do you eat out often?: now that i've been dating joe, more than i ever have before
x: what is your favourite ice cream flavour?: half baked or plain vanilla
x: italian or chinese?: italian
x: what is your favourite drink?: dr. pepper
x: do you drink alcohol?: very very very rarely

ANIMALS
x: are you an animal person?: Yes.
x: do you have any?: no, my apartment doesn't allow it but joe has a cat that is equally mine bc i like him more than joe does : )
x: what are your favourite animals?: tigers and bunnies
x: if you could tame any animal what would it be?: A tiger

x: what animals are you scared of?: snakes
x: do you like rodents?: Hamsters

x: ever been to a zoo?: Of course
x: allergic to any animals?: no

FEAR
x: what are you scared of?: Spiders, snakes, clowns, heights and bridges (not overpasses mind you, I don't mind that breaking bc I'll die in a firey explosion, not drown)
x: how much did the events of 9/11 scare you?: Not scare as much as make me uneasy?
x: what has been the scariest moment of your life?: when i found out that my dad had cancer
x: the scariest nightmare?: the one where i watch keith shoot himself and hold him until he dies in my arms
x: do you fear world poverty?:no
x: murder?: mine or others?
x: have you ever been in a really dangerous situation?: no

NUMBER OF...
x: hairbrushes you own: probably like a million
x: posters: 3?
x: CDs: again like a million
x: mascaras: 2
x: hoodies: 3
x: cross necklaces: 2
x: calendars: 0

x: empty bottles in your room: None
x: stuffed toys you have: 2
x: meals eaten in a day: 2
x: times broken the law: a few, only trespassing though
x: boyfriends had: a bunch, but only one that counts
x: hats: 0 now, i'm not a hat person
x: books: bunches
x: shoes: sooooooooooooooooooooooooo many. but hey, you can never have too many shoes!

LAST
x: meal: pizza
x: drink: milk
x: hat worn: that was so long ago, who even knows
x: friend you saw: Joe
x: bus you rode on: the one to NY
x: necklace you wore: the past present future necklace joe gave me
x: person you spoke to: brenda. right now
x: person you kissed: Joe
x: person who kissed you: Joe
x: website you visited: thknot.com
x: DVD you watched: ummmmm. I think it was Indiana Jones and the raiders of the lost ark.
x: song you listened to: Home by Michael Buble
x: CD: Avenue Q soundtrack
x: eyeshadow worn: blue

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 18:00:35 GMT

And the countdown begins:

4 more days until my excruciatingly long trip to Ohio.
6 more days of classes
2 weeks until my birthday
3 weeks until I'm home for the summer

I'm looking forward to going to Ohio, sort of. i want to meet Joe's family, I do, I'm just really nervous. Besides its like an 8 hour drive and in his little truck. I'm gonna be so grumpy and irritable by the time we get there. But I think it will be nice, I doubt I'd get to meet this part of the family otherwise.

I'm ready for class to be over. I'm so burnt out. I only have three days of exams thank the Lord, so it should be pretty painless.

The job hunt isn't going very well.... but at least I'll have a job subbing until at least mid June. Summer has its plusses and minuses. Joe will be in Richmond and Jessica will be in Fairfax. Sure I'll be able to vist it them but it won't be like them being 10 minutes away :( But I'll have Amanda! It sucks so much that she's going to school in Tenn. I know that she loves it there, but she never gets to come home and when she does I hardly see her. At Christmas and over Spring Break I only saw her a couple of times. But at least with summer the only thing that will get in the way is work... If I ever find a stinkin job.

So my birthday is coming up, hint hint. I'll be 20. 20? I don't feel like I'm anywhere near that. *shrugs* oh well, before I know it I'll have to find a real job and house and I'll be getting married. Well, in three years at least.

Ok, time to clean before I do my work. I feel like Cinderella except without the singing birds and mice, fairy godmother, pretty dress, pumpkin carriage, wicked step people or the ball.

Mon, 27 Mar 2006 22:03:04 GMT

which rejected character are you?

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Wed, 22 Mar 2006 04:02:24 GMT

So. Spring break wasn't all that great. I worked every day except Tuesday at the High School for a pitiful $45 a day. Tuesday I got a hair cut. Friday I went shopping. Saturday I went to a ROTC ball with Joe for his recruiting purposes. I felt more like a chaperone than anything else since everyone was calling me m'am. Fun Times. Oh, and I found out that Joe is now going to Iraq for a year instead of Kosovo. I'm coping. Sort of. Nothing I can do about it so I might as weel, right? Well, supressing emotion is sort of like coping.

Right now I'm waiting for Joe to come from work. At 10:59pm he still isn't home. Sigh. I realize that I have no life outside of school and Joe. In September I'll need another way to occupy my time I suppose. Probably just more school. God I'm lame.

But on the plus side, my computer is officially up and running again.

New Screen Name

Mon, 06 Mar 2006 16:17:49 GMT

for those of you that care, my new screen name is Moo With Me VCU